Sharing infertility stories
Recounting your infertility stories can really help you manage things when working through infertility can feel like a very isolated journey. It’s not hard to see who isn’t battling with infertility – from the ‘baby on board’ sticker in the back window to the tricycle left on the lawn – the signs are all there. It’s far harder to spot the difference between a couple who are waiting a while before they start trying for kids and a couple who would desperately love to have a baby but just can’t seem to get it right. Prior to the days of the Internet you would have to look for a support group to hear other couples’ infertility stories, which may be quite a problem for couples living outside of big cities. Moreover, there was quite a stigma attached to not being able to get pregnant. Due to the increased availability of the Internet you can now have both a cyber support group and a real life support group, and you’ll be able to find out just how widespread infertility is.
Infertility stories of every shape and size are relatively simple to find on the net. Every circumstance is represented – multiple miscarriages, IVF and other fertility treatments, donated womb, eggs or sperm (or all three!), multiple births and adoptions are all covered. You will definitely find a story at least a bit similar to your situation! My favorite one was about a woman who experienced early menopause but was able to conceive because her identical twin donated an ovary! Same DNA, matching basic building blocks for the eggs, no chance of rejection! The donating twin had already had the babies she wanted so she was eager to donate, despite the chance of early menopause. I get all emotional just thinking about it.
Then again, I’m not sure if reading or listening to a stack of infertility stories is that helpful. You could get depressed hearing a whole stack of happily-ever-after stories where you don’t feel like you’re having any good news at all, although in all fairness the stories may also cheer you up. I think it’s best to strike a balance between real-life counseling and relating infertility stories on the net. You can give the excuse that there aren’t any infertility support groups in your neighborhood, but have you thought of creating one? Other couples in the neighborhood may benefit from having a place to share their infertility stories. You could already be familiar with other couples who are struggling, but maybe you can put up some posters at the local doctor’s rooms. An open heart, a willing ear and a fresh batch of cookies are all you need to start a support group – so why not go for it?
It is crucial to have the opportunity to to share your infertility stories, and to hear the stories of other couples too. It can make things easier to deal with knowing that you are not without help in your struggles so try to get a group in your area, or think of launching one yourself.
Here is more information on Infertility Stress. Here is a website with a free mini-course dedicated to Infertility.
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