Evaluating The Family Before The Birth
Pregnancy in the world is certainly far from novel until you experience it for the first time. When it’s your pregnancy everything truly is novel and you start to see the world around you much differently. The nesting time that most women go through often turns inward. We want to know that everything is going to be just fine.
Any committed long term relationship can go under evaluation during a pregnancy. Most of the time this is the event that either creates unity or signals that there are only individuals trying to force their square pegs into round relationship holes. As the idea of family approaches you find that it’s easy to share the fun stuff but not so sure about sharing the whole idea.
We go have fun as we find adorable baby girl or baby boy bedding. We feel as though we are protecting the child well with baby safety monitors. We even figure out the best diapers to bring home. It’s certainly a fun experience and it can be one that you and your partner bond over. You can each daydream while baby proofing the home.
While this is a lot of fun, it does not do much to calm your fears regarding your relationship. It’s completely common for a pregnant woman to question everything in her life to make sure she feels she is doing the best to bring her child into the best possible world. When it comes to relationship issues there is not a more potent cure than communication.
Sometimes all of your fears are really just about cold feet and a feeling of uncertainty regarding the unknown. When it was a question of a lifetime commitment to another adult, everyone knows that there is a back door. Finding a back door after you have a child is extremely difficult and very painful for that child. The baby represents a lifetime commitment to your partner.
Your pregnancy is the time to start working out these issues with your significant other. Fears and concerns can be laid on the table and honest communication needs to take priority over the potential for hurt feelings. Bringing a baby into a bad relationship does not improve the stability of that relationship. It usually makes it harder.
There will be natural adjustment periods and you will not always see eye to eye with anyone in your family. But going into the birth of a child with a strong sense of commitment and unity is a beautiful gift for everyone involved.
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